Interview tips

Response to Luna’s post on misleading job description.

My comment got so long I figured I might as well make my own post. Especially bc it also went WAY off topic. Now, understand this is coming from someone who hasn’t held a “real job” in close to 10 years. But I still think it’s valid snd doesn’t rehash tired old interviewing tips

I know when you’re un or under employed, it can be tempting to say yes for the first job that comes your way. Don’t do it. The right job at the right company will come. If you are desperate then yes, take it but be ready to answer why you are looking for a new job so soon.

Use this as an answer [Luna’s post]to a behavioral interview! ( You’ll have to read it to really get the gist of this part of my post.) How you handled the unexpected or something like that. Of course, point out that:

1. You cannot name the company (they will appreciate your confidentiality)

2. You want to work for a company that is more transparent like (enter new company name here) as shown by (insert something about new company here.)

So here are my top tips on interviewing well. Questions to ask and things to think about.

  1. What are the top 3 characteristics the successful candidate would have (and then how you fit them or put that in your thank you email)
  2. SEND A THANK YOU EMAIL!!! To each person. You would be surprised at how many people don’t do this and it can make or break you.
  3. If you interview with more than 1 person, don’t send the same email to each interviewer- so take notes about what each interviewer seems most interested in. Ask for names and job titles if you can. I am horrible with names do I jot them down as fast as I can without being too obvious. You can also ask for biz cards or ways to reach them. I usually write the names down then when talking, will put the first letter of the person’s name next to the question or comment.
  4. LAST QUESTION: Ask if they have any issues regarding your ability to do the job. Again, address at the time or in email. Yes, you will surprise them. But most will answer directly. And if you watch your time, wrap up your questions in time to ask this one. Perhaps the most critical one. And give yourself time to answer. Before your interview, be objective and evaluate your weakest area & draft how you would address them. EX: the job is a supervisor one and you don’t have experience with that. True but in order to best learn that is to sit down with your direct reports to understand their jobs, what their biggest roadblocks are, etc.
  5. If you have answered the question, stop talking!!! Don’t feel like you have to fill in dead air. That’s when you will make the mistake that will kill you. DON’T RAMBLE! (A hard thing for me in general but I digress.) If there’s some dead air, ask if you sufficiently answered their question or if there is more they would like to know. Usually they are just taking notes.
  6. Keep the interviewer talking more than you – less chance to mess up and people will feel like you’re REALLY interested and that they know you better. Strange but true. I don’t get it either. Must be bc people like talking about themselves and makes them feel closer to you. So try to stick in a quick question now and then.
  7. Remember, YOU are interviewing THEM as well. When you realize that, interviews become a little less scary. Ask revel ent questions but ones you want to know! Where will you fit in the org, describe the culture, those kinds of things.
  8. Check recent stock filings- what’s the biggest challenge they have regarding —— and how you can help with that.
  9. Those are the best questions I know of asking. Yes, scour their website so you can tailor your resume & answers but these are great closing questions. But only ask after you’ve asked relative job/company related questions so they know you’ve done your homework.

Try to get away from pat answers and try to make it a conversation. If it’s a phone interview, put on business casual clothes at the very least. NO PJs!!! You will be surprised at how different you feel, and thus how different you will do in the interview by a wardrobe change.

If you have a good sense of humor, use it – but judicially. If you can get them laughing, those are points. But you have to have a *really good* sense of humor AND make sure the interviewer has one as well. Toss a few softballs to test the water. Don’t mix your metaphors (just testing to see if you’re paying attention.)

Hope this is helpful. What are YOUR best unknown tricks?

Delusional Take II

This post started its life as a comment on Fandango’s site called Delusional. (I hope I got those URLs right!) The topic was a discussion about Trump’s ability to shoot someone on 5th Avenue in NYC. One member actually had the audacity to say “It depends on what he [the victim] was doing.”

It was that point at which my head exploded just before I felt my IQ drop a good 40 points. You know how when you fly and there’s some turbulence you get that falling feeling in your stomach? Yeah – that’s what losing 40 IQ points feel like.

In my comment, I ask how these people really feel that way, and urged me to require a minimum IQ score to vote. But I digress.

[Regarding lack of action by #GOP. ] That’s what I cannot fathom. It simply boggles my mind. Yes, #LiarInChief has his base and caters to those who ARE base but moderate Republicans have been flipping in droves. I think the flip machine over-heated after one of his lies- which one I don’t know – too many to follow. His true base is south of 30% and the rest that voted for him are defecting as fast as they can.

Most voted “No” to HC as opposed to vote FOR trump. Semantics? Perhaps, but I don’t think so. He can’t win in 2020 with only 30% of the population.

I simply cannot understand the fear the #GOP has of him. What are they so afraid of??? Why do they allow such distain of the Constitution to continue on and ad infamtom (no, I can’t spell it but you get the gist. I hope.) Just the #emoloments clause alone should be enough to impeach and remove.

But the scarier part? If he’s removed, we get Pence. Let that sink in a moment. I think even the GOP were surprised Trump lasted this long as I think it’s the original game plan. Get someone like Trump in there to take the fall which would allow a Pence presidentially.

It’s the perfect scheme. GOP knows Pence couldn’t win against HC bc of his raw right beliefs. Ex: he won’t have a business dinner with a female colleague unless his wife’s presence. Perfect picture of white male privilege. As a woman, there’s no way I could advance in my career if I had to abide by those rules. But there’s a very large number of people that do- they are called Fundamental Christians. And there are a LOT of them. And they vote.

When compared to the incredible insanity of Trump, Pence would feel like a breath of fresh (cough, cough) air. He comes across as the very image of a pious man. Calm, cool, collected…and with every intention of driving women out of the job market so they stay home as a baby making machine. Who would have all brown people tossed on a boat to got to “I don’t give a shit just get them out” island.

He would support book burning (like the Harry Potter series bc it promotes evil wizards 🙄) and would instead require the teaching of the Bible. Cause you know that if you add an “ism” at the end of a word, it becomes a science. Like ohh…creationism? Yea, still not a science. Want your kid to learn the Bible? Have him or her read it every night. After the science homework is done.

Equal rights for women? Phishaw – women don’t deserve equal protection under the law. If they would just do as they are told, they wouldn’t be going out in that dress to get herself raped. See how I did that? Called victim blaming and the current administration is quite good at it.

Abortion only for rape, incest or danger for the mother? How, exactly, is that gonna work cause I can’t seem to get anyone to tell me. Does a woman have to file a police report and go through the horrible rape kit exam. Is the 13 year old girl going to tell on daddy? To whom? (Well, you know how flirtatious little girls can be. See- more victim blaming.) Imagine the impact on real rape victims if to get an abortion, you just have to file a police report. Thinking about that, WHEN should she make the report. See how messy that bag of sperms oops I meant worms, could get?

I can solve the “abortion problem” in 1 easy step. Have all boys get reversible vasectomies for their 10th birthday. No swimmers, no abortion. Everyone wins. Except we live in a hyper-masculine culture where men and their little swimmers must be protected.

But I digress, again. The bottom line is that I believe that the #LiarInChief was supposed to be out already so Pence could step up to everyone’s relief. Or should I say to the relief of white males.

Thanks to Fantango for this steal!

Confession of a Secret Cart Shamer

You know it when it happens to you but it can be hard, if not impossible to prove. Someone looks at something in your grocery cart (usually while you’re checking out so it’s too late to abandon and flee) pointedly looks at you and then back to the item(s) in your cart. Back and forth again.

You get this sick feeling in your stomach and your face feels hot. You look around, helpless and stuck, not really knowing exactly what’s going on but knowing SOMETHING just happened but what?

You’ve just been Cart Shamed. Another shopper has passed judgment on something you’re buying (ex: Spam) and been found lacking somehow. You committed a shopping sin and you’ve been called out on it by your fellow shoppers.

But here’s the thing: as angry or embarrassed as we get when it happens to us, a lot of us are guilty of the same thing. But no one wants to admit it. Here is a space for Confessions of a Secret Cart Shamer. Because I do it. I admit it. Yet I think there are times when those being Cart Shamed should take a look at their items and think about whether or not they are making good grocery decisions.

What am I talking about? What are “good” grocery decisions? What ARE grocery decisions and why should anyone else care what’s in your cart? I’m here to tell you.

The people I Cart Shame are overweight. I don’t mean carrying a few extra pounds. I’m talking about people who are clinically obese; people lugging around an extra 60+ lbs. America is the fattest country in the world with, for example, over 35% of people living in West Virginia falling under clinical guidelines for obesity. About 40% of Americans are obese and another 30% are overweight. That means that only 30% of us are of a healthy weight. And we as a society are paying the price, in terms of both health problems and costs.

Why should we care? Because these fat parents are turning out and raising fat kids. They are setting their kids up for a lifetime of physical, emotional and cognitive difficulties. Again, I am not referring to a little baby fat. I’m talking about 9 year old boys that weigh 120 pounds and have man boobs. I’m talking about little girls with muffin tops that rival Trump’s. (I’d post a link but don’t want you scratching your own eyes out.)

Type II Diabetes in kids is skyrocketing. This leads to a lifetime of health problems ranging from high cholesterol to osteoarthritis in teenagers. Emotional problems like low self esteem get compounded when parents teach their kids that having a cookie 🍪 will make them feel better – emotional eating combined with a lack of healthy coping mechanisms. If a child is crying, let him cry and talk about what happened and how he can self-regulate his emotions. In other words, teach him how to work through painful emotions without using a pint of Ben and Jerry’s.

Obesity damages cognitive development. Instead of reading or playing outside making up games with rules and goals – King of the Hill – watching TV while snarfing down Cheesy-Poofs encourages mental laziness and physical inactivity. It becomes a vicious circle. As the kid gets fatter, running and playing becomes harder so they do less of it and that in turns encourages weight gain.

So when I see the fat parents raising fat kids and I look in the cart and see nothing but junk food, processed food, and snack food, without a raw vegetable in sight, yes, I Cart Shame. It’s up to the PARENTS to educate themselves on good nutrition and not pass that fat living and eating system onto their kids.

When I hear parents say “Johnny won’t eat salad,” I hear lazy parenting. Johnny will eat what you give him if he’s hungry enough. No child in this country has starved to death from refusing to eat. And none of this diner-style cooking for kids. That’s more lazy parenting. The kids eat what the entire family is eating. Kids don’t each get their own special meal. A chicken breast the size of a deck of cards, broiled and seasoned with a little garlic or barbecue seasoning (seasoning, not sauce full of salt and sugar), steamed broccoli with some shredded cheese (cheese- not cheese food product) or a little butter and salt & pepper (a little- please don’t drown the vegetables!) and some whole grain or brown rice is a perfectly acceptable meal for a 7 year old.

Yes, younger kids need a bit of a more bland diet but frozen sweet corn can provide a healthy starch that tastes good naturally. No, corn is not a true vegetable- it’s a starch. So mix in some frozen peas with the sweet corn for a healthy, tasty mix.

Parents also say they don’t have time to cook. Fixing Hamburger Helper doesn’t help. You can make a hamburger stroganoff using fresh ingredients in the exact same amount of time it takes to make a processed meal mix with a fraction of the calories, preservatives, additives and added sugar and corn syrup. If you can’t pronounce it, don’t eat it. Again, it’s the parents’ JOB to provide healthy meals. Taking the time up front to prevent childhood obesity is ultimately less time consuming and easier than trying to change ingrained eating habit and starting the painful and more shaming notion of dieting. Focus more on healthy eating and the weight will become less of an issue.

My last food pet peeve is the so-called breakfast cereal. Froot Loops aren’t food, they are carb-candy marketed to make kids ask for it. Instead, try a granola (from the bulk food section) naturally sweetened with dried fruits, honey and raisins. Tastes just as good and is tons better for you and your kids. I’d even support fried or scrambled eggs and bacon over cereal where the first ingredient is sugar.

One other thing that is driving up weights are sodas. Sugary sweet Coke contains more calories in one can than a kid needs for a whole meal. And “diet” soda isn’t any better. Artificial sweeteners are terrible for your health and promote weight gain because the body doesn’t know how to process it. Two options: milk or water.

Can kids have snacks if they are hungry between meals? Absolutely! A bunch of baby carrots provides a sweet, crunchy treat and while I’m not wild about string cheese because of it’s highly processed nature, it’s 100% better than a coke and a bag of Doritos.

So the next time you feel Cart Shamed, ask yourself why. Get HONEST about your weight or more importantly your kids’ weights and look at what’s IN your cart. If it’s full of crap then as a parent, it’s your job to educate yourself about healthy eating and make it, and exercise disguised as play a priority for your family.

Again, why is it my business if your kid is fat? It may not sound it but it’s out of compassion first. This is the food version of tough love. These kids are going to have physical problems as they grow up. Obese teenagers are suffering from osteoarthritis because they are carrying around far too much weight. If their knees are giving out at 16, where are they going to be at 25 or 35?),

The other reason is that obesity is a huge factor in skyrocketing healthcare costs and that affects ALL of us. So your fat kid is costing me tax money. I’d prefer to have that money invested into school libraries, art classes, musical opportunities and science programs.

There. I said it. Let the outrage commence.

Have any secret Cart Shaming experiences you want to share? Bring em!


If the eyes are the window to the soul, what am I saying?

“Look at me,” I yelled.
His eyes downcast.

“You slept with her didn’t you?”
“Of course not! I love you, I’d never do that to you!”

I looked at the windows and saw battered, broken blinds. I thought about Joel in accounting.

“I love you too,” I said. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be so jealous.”
“I’m sorry too,” he said. “I should have called.”

When we climaxed, the sound was like shattering glass.

Lonely Dancers

Like slow rolling fog, barely perceptible at first
Thickening into a pea-soup haze.

Like a tornado dropping down out of a tortured sky
Flinging debris and detritus here, there, visibility zero.

Sound muted by a thick, impenetrable wall of nothingness.
Hazy, unrecognizable figures gliding by without stopping.

“Wait!” you shout. “Who are you? Who am I?”
But only the silence answers.
“Shhhh…” it whispers. “Be quiet.”

Different ways of loving and living

I love (pun intended) how people are opening up about different ways of loving and living.

I know this threatens some so-called “traditional values,” which aren’t all that traditional and more a story we have told ourselves about how things “used to be.” We do it because what is *now* is scary and unsure so it’s easier to denigrate it.

Open relationships take a LOT more work than traditional monogamies. The need for communication, honesty, compromise and boundaries is exponentially more important in open relationships. That’s just too much work for some so they sleepwalk through their lives, complain that these weirdos are responsible for their own unfulfilling relationship.

If you don’t want to be in an open relationship then don’t be. It’s just that simple. If it doesn’t work for you, fine. Rock on with your bad self. But STFU about how OTHERS develop their relationships. It has no bearing on yours other than the one you place on it. Your concerns about my relationships say more about your relationships than mine. Believe it or not but I honestly don’t care about how you form your family.

A quick note here that none of this applies to the concept of child brides or forced polygamy. That has nothing to do we love and everything to do with abuse of power. Those who try to equate the two are confabulating out of hate, fear or ignorance. I like to leave out stupidity because I try to be hopeful. You can refute hate, calm fear and educate ignorance. But you can’t fix stupid.

Poem #244

Poem #244

Poem #244
— Read on

Read this. If you’ve never felt this, I suggest checking for a pulse. Or honoring your Gods and Goddesses.

Just to be clear – this is NOT MY WORK!

This poem -Poem #244 is the work of Luna at Luna the

Her work inspired me to write something very similar but in no way am I trying to take any credit here- the heartbreakingly beautiful work is hers. Mine is like a sequel. Never as good as the original.

Thank you Luna

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